Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
