They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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