I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
