but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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