So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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