the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
