that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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