You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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