I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Can i not drive my cunt home
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
