My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
