somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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