Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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