Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
