I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
