We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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