It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
