i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
