And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
