Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
