If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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