brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
