when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
