oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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