Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
