Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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