Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize