I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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