Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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