Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
