so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
