3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
