I just pynch a tree in the face
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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