Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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