So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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