i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
