I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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