My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
