I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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