All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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