Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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