There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize