ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
