I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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