Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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