So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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