That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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