people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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