Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
