Christians are straight up FREAKS
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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