I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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