matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
