Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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