Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize