I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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