So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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