So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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