So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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