beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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