he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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