Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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