I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
