She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
