if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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