I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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