ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
