Quick, to the slutcave!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
ok first of all what the fuck
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize