happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize