I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
