Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
