Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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