I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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