I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
