What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
